The Holy Observer is coming back from the dead!

Dear readers, after 7 years, God's #1 source for Christian satire news is being resurrected! Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram to get every update!

If you’ve been wondering what’s causing that emptiness you’re feeling inside, it’s that THO hasn’t been in your life. Well, maybe it’s because you need to get closer to God, but an easier first step is following us. So go now and do it! Abundant joy awaits!

Archive for December 2007

Bible Smugglers Release 31,103 Scripture Duckies on Euphrates River

Dec 17th, 2007 | Category: Missions

BASRA, Iraq — Call it fowl play. Open Doors, the legendary missions network led by Brother Andrew, recently smuggled one Bible into the Middle East. The big deal? Not in traditional format—print, cassette tape or MP3—Andrew’s crew floated all 31,103 verses of the Bible down the Euphrates River, via rubber duckies.

Visitor Wants Less Information About Church

Dec 17th, 2007 | Category: Church

ST. LOUIS, MO – Derek Freeman found himself experiencing information overload on a recent first time visit to nearby Chesterfield Community Church. “I was sitting in the all purpose sanctuary, enjoying my chai tea latte, when the woman up front invited new visitors to see someone on the welcome team if they wanted more information […]

God to Professional Athletes: Stop Pointing at Me

New declaration from The Almighty makes gesturing to Him on field a sin

Dec 17th, 2007 | Category: Heaven, Sports

HEAVEN – In a press release issued earlier this month, God declared that professional athletes in any sport who point or gesture in any way in His direction while on the field of play will be subject to the normal penalties for committing a sin. The policy seems to have been in the works for […]

Heavenly Greetings To Become More Blunt, Accurate

Dec 17th, 2007 | Category: Heaven

HEAVEN – Sources close to Jesus say the Lord has grown weary of greeting lukewarm Christians with the traditional “well done, thou good and faithful servant.” Christ was seen Monday rolling his eyes at new arrivals who filtered in after Hope Chapel’s bus crashed on its way to a Michael W. Smith concert in Temecula, […]

Sponsor: Merriam-Webster Tongues-English Dictionary

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: Sponsors

Asian American Pastor Speaks Only English

Chicago native of Korean descent also knows no martial arts

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: Church

HOUSTON – The employment of James Kim as youth pastor at Mt. Olive Baptist church here has resulted in some disappointment among church members, but not for the usual pastoral dissatisfaction reasons. “When I saw that we had hired him, I was so excited,” said church treasurer Lilly Rudd. “I thought we could finally start […]

Writers’ Strike Hits TBN Hard

Healing services, fundraising scripts most affected

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: The Media

COSTA MESA, CA – With the Writers Guild of America about to begin the sixth week of its strike, the nation’s television networks are scrambling to fill gaps in their programming schedules. But the Christian television industry has suffered through a concurrent strike of the Christian Writers Guild, which has staunched the flow of original […]

Church Sign: Christmas Special – Christmas Eve Program

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: Church Signs

Church Sign: Christmas Special – Easy To Spell

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: Church Signs

Church Sign: Christmas Special – Midnight Mass

Dec 15th, 2007 | Category: Church Signs