FARGO, ND – The monthly couples Bible study at Fargo Christian Fellowship, a non-denominational church of 317, is on the brink of violence. According to anonymous sources, if the Paulsens continue to dominate the discussion time following Dr. James
Dobson's "Marriage God's Way" video series, fists may start to fly.

"Look, I'm a committed believer and all, but I swear to high heaven if I hear Steve Paulsen tell us ‘what works' for him and Kathy one more time, I'll backslide all over his face," said one husband.

"When he clears his throat and raises that bony finger of his, it's all I can do to not throw my Bible at his bald head," said another.

Regular attendees of Monthly Marrieds have grown weary of the Paulsens' sermonettes on Christian relationships. Be it money, children or communication, it seems the Paulsens always have an anecdote to share and are long-winded to boot. Eyewitnesses reported seeing a disgruntled spouse leave a note on the passenger side windshield of the Paulsens' Windstar that read, "Thanks for the lecture, Oprah. If I want to hear a filibuster, I'll stay home and watch C-Span."

One wife in particular commented to THO, "I'm sick and tired of ‘my Seth this, my Samuel that, my Sarah this, my Simeon that'. You know, she's not the only Proverbs 31 woman in this church."

"He thinks he's some kind of marriage guru or something. One night he told us ‘what works' for him and Kathy is a weekly date night. Then he sat back all smug and squeezed Kathy's hand. So clever, Steve. Like I haven't heard that one before. Oh, and try date
night when you're raising seven kids on a forklift driver's wage, moron." These comments were made by "Ken" in an exclusive interview with THO while on a union break at Steelfab Inc. His name is sewn onto his work shirt.

Many in the group hold the Thompsons responsible for the Paulsens' hogging of discussion time. "Yeah, I need to do a better job of facilitating the talk," said Bill Thompson, Couples Pastor. "It's just that the Lord has restored Kathy and Steve's marriage again, and they're just zealous to share what the Lord has done for them. I'll pray about it and see how the Lord leads."

Nevertheless, the patience of one rankled husband has almost run dry. In response to Thompson's seeking of the Lord in the matter, one husband cautioned, "All I know is, the last Monday of February is coming up, and Dobson's video is on contemporary Christian intimacy. If Paulsen starts in, there'll be a good old fashioned donnybrook at 229 Hearthstone Lane. My wife and I really don't need to know ‘what works' for him and Kathy after a date night. Sheesh."