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VOLUME 3 • ISSUE 4   |   Release date: December 17th, 2007

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Top 10 Christmas Spiritual Gifts

10. The Gift of Christmas Pageantry: Wow the congregation like a true drama queen!
9. The Gift of Advent Recitation: Lighting a candle while reading a holiday limerick takes some serious concentration.
8. The Gift of O Holy Night Harmony: Making this train wreck sound good takes some real help from above.
7. The Gift of Fake Pregnancy: Somebody's gotta play Mary.
6. The Gift of Carol Medley-Making: It takes a seasoned worship leader to pack the first verse of every carol into one 3-minute song.
5. The Gift of Present Discernment: No need to shake the box.
4. The Gift of Visitor Recognition: Only a discerning eye can distinguish the actual church-shoppers among the annual worshipers.
3. The Gift of Carol Contemporization: Who doesn't want to hear "Silent Night" to a reggae beat?
2. The Gift of Narrative Relevance: It’s not easy to tell the story of a cool couple chillin’ in the barn with their rug-rat-king in a relevant way.
1. The Gift of Receiving: People who say the real gift is giving obviously never received anything good, which is why they probably don’t know how to give anything good, which is why nobody likes them.

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