EXCLUSIVE REPORT: Trinity Broadcasting Network Run by Atheists
Officials say goal was to make Christians look stupidCategory: The Media
SANTA ANA, CA – For everyone who has ever tuned into the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN)—broadcast on satellite and cable systems across the country—and thought, “This can’t be serious,” it turns out you were right.
Local and federal law enforcement officials have uncovered an elaborate scheme engineered by an atheist group and aimed at embarrassing the Christian religion; a scheme that has been going on for nearly 30 years.
Among other startling discoveries, officials have learned that TBN—which has claimed from the beginning to exist for the purpose of furthering God’s kingdom – was actually founded by Broadcasters Against God (BAG)—a loosely organized faction of Hollywood atheists—in 1973 and has been operated by the group ever since.
“We’ve been on this case for years,” said special federal investigator Scott Hines. “I mean, come on. Have you ever watched this channel?”
A 250-page report released this week reveals that TBN’s ridiculous-looking sets featuring enormous purple thrones lined with ornate gold patterns and hosts with huge hairdos and caked-on makeup were used purposely to give bleary-eyed channel surfers a distorted view of Christianity.
“The biggest surprise to me is that we were able to get away with it for so long,” BAG President Wayne Mailer said in a signed confession included in the report. “I mean, seriously, Christians were actually giving money to keep this channel on the air! It was unbelievable.”
In fact, TBN was primarily supported by viewer contributions over the years, although officials are now taking a good, hard look at the motives behind a series of large gifts from media mogul Ted Turner.
“I pity the fools who gave money to this network,” born again entertainer Mr. T said upon learning of the scam. He’s just one of many Christians who unwittingly participated in the deception by making numerous appearances on TBN.
“This is totally whack,” echoed Christian music artist Carman, another TBN regular. “Anyone who would carry on something like this for so long needs a check up from the neck up. What the dilly?”
It’s unclear what charges will be levied against BAG since there are no laws against disingenuous programming. But one thing is almost certain—officials have no intention of walking away from years of investigating without handing down a conviction.
“Just putting together this kind of painful television for two decades deserves pretty serious punishment,” Hines said. “Believe me, we’re gonna make something stick.”