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Man Happier About Switch to Mac than Conversion to Christianity

Category: Technology
Steve's iPower Book
Steve’s iPower Book

CINCINNATI, OH – Cincinnati resident Steve Philips is noticeably more excited about his recent switch from Windows-based PCs to Apple computers than his recent conversion from atheism to Christianity. Philips, an account manager for Choice Communications, was baptized shortly after his conversion and is in contact with Apple computers as a potential candidate for the company’s popular “Switcher” ad campaign.

The two life changes came about the same time but had different influences, according to Philips. “Well, I became a Christian in late June after talking to my friend Ted, who’s a really smart guy. The switch to Mac was more a result of some pretty intense personal study, looking at web sites that compare Windows and the Mac OS, price comparisons, and stuff like that. I bought an eMac after the [4th of July] holiday to replace my home computer, and I just got a sweet new iBook laptop for work last week.” Philips also cited moral reasons for the changes, specifically the fact that millions of people are victimized by Microsoft’s poor security, and the company knowingly sells a faulty product.

The change in Philips has been difficult for his irreligious, PC-using family, who feel as though he has abandoned the culture in which he was raised. “All Steve can talk about lately is Mac, Mac, Mac,” complained sister Yvette. “Yesterday he went on and on about how Safari and Panther are going to revolutionize the way people use computers. It’s like he’s on another continent.” Philips’s mother Jackie has been distressed by the change as well: “Stevie used to help me with my computer, you know, because I’m not so good at getting the world wide net to work right. But he hasn’t helped me in weeks. He just keeps saying, ‘Ma, I can’t support Bill Gates by helping you with your computer anymore.’ Who is Bill Gates? I don’t know what to do!”

The conversions are sparking more than a little concern among Philips’s friends as well, although it is unclear which one has had more of an impact. “Everybody was skeptical of me at first, of course,” remarked Philips. “My friends made fun of me for a while, and that was hard. But I just told them I’m different now—the old, Windows-using Steve was gone, and a new, enlightened Mac-user had taken his place.” The friction with friends is aggravated by the fact that Philips regularly seeks to convince his Windows-based friends that they, too, should make the switch.

The imbalance may be causing a problem for Philips’s Christian witness, however. Co-worker Dave Wilson was surprised to find that Philips was a new Christian. “What, Steve, a Christian? I had no idea. But I guess it would be pretty easy to miss, what with him shoving that stupid iBook in my face four or five times a day. Geez, I wish he’d just leave me alone and let me live my life the way I want to.”

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  1. Awesome, a good criticism of today’s Christian-on-the-outside culture.

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