Below are some of the comments submitted by readers who took our last survey.
Mike L. - Bentonville, AR
It's tooo long and oh so boring! And i'm the pastor!!!
Jim C. - Union City, CA
Church donuts are making me fat
Tell us about it, Jim.
You might want to consider wearing more black, by the way.
Trinity - San Antonio
I was visiting another church to see how they handle the usher ministry.
Scott - Pasadena, CA
I thought the command for procreation came before observing the Sabbath in the Bible
Isn't church on Sunday mornings?
Jay M. - Fairview, OK
I was fulfilling the Great Commission by sharing the Word over the internet (playing Halo 3)
Pastor Garrett - Osnabrock
Poor preaching on the days my senior pastor is gone...that youth pastor just sucks.
We already got that response from your wife, Pastor G.
Kevin - Richmond, KY
Excessive gas.
You might try drinking less apple cider at the refreshment table.
Stan B. - Wessington Springs
The apocalypse.
Murray F. - New Zealand
I go to an emergent church, so we meet on groovyday.
Ben J. - Burnsville, MN
I got caught up in an episode of Scrubs.
Spencer - Murfreesboro, TN
I heard someone say that they missed church because they were in "The Word." I found out later from his wife, He called his bed "The Word."
That's a pretty dumb name for a bed.
Fr. Robert Dye - Tulsa, OK
I forgot what time Midnight mass was going to start.
Jeremiah B. - Corpus Christi, TX
I was busy responding to a question on The Holy Observer website.
I hope your response was funny that time.
Michael - Seattle, WA
Daylight savings. This excuse can be used week after week, as long as you continue to miss church. You can miss church all summer, but come October when the clocks turn back you must be there or everyone will know.
Nathan F. - Fosston, MN
A needy pastor who believes we need to become a ''community'' (translation: commune) by getting together five days a week and sharing meals and our problems. Because I hate potlucks (translation: hot dishes of any kind are disgusting and usually violate health codes) and don't like to dwell on my problems (translation: life is full of challenges and dwelling on them instead of moving forward seems self-defeating) I dread going to church because so many of my fellow worshipers seem so needy and depressing and love to wallow in their self-perceived misery instead of picking themselves up by their boot straps and pressing on!
Survey Results
