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VOLUME 1 • ISSUE 11   |   Release date: April 15, 2004

In This Issue
Techno-Tithe
Cowell: Special Music "Really Awful"
Darwinists Strike Again
SBs Boast Highest Rate of "Passion"
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Darwinists Strike Again In Ichthus Fish Car Emblem Battle
 

Darwin T-Rex

Darwin T-Rex eating the Truth Fish eating the Darwin fish on the tailgate of a 2004 Ford F-150

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The creators of the notorious “Darwin Fish” car emblem have developed a controversial new product designed to win a decisive victory in a battle that has raged for a decade now. In a move hailed by supporters as “the final blow” in that battle, Ring of Fire Enterprises is set to release their newest product, a silver outline of a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating the creationist “Truth Fish.”

The ten-year clash began when Ring of Fire Enterprises released its first product, the infamous Darwin fish. Designed to counter the popularity of the Ichthus Fish, the original Christian fish symbol, the first Ring of Fire emblem featured an Ichthus Fish with evolutionary feet and the word “Darwin” emblazoned inside. The creationist response was the now-famous “Truth” emblem, a larger Ichthus fish containing the word “truth” swallowing the Darwin fish whole.

For years, the Truth fish has been the last word in automotive iconography—until now. In late 2003, the ROF board of directors commissioned a new image, one that would counter the popularity of the Truth fish.

“It’s a matter of finishing what we started, really,” says ROF co-founder Nona S. Williams with a chuckle. “The original Darwin fish stated our initial message well, but we had to admit the Christians responded pretty strongly. We don’t anticipate they can trump the new T-Rex emblem so easily!”

Indeed, the board of directors was hoping for a decisive blow when it commissioned the new piece; from the start, it was proposed to be the largest car emblem yet. For such a task, they called upon the talents of the anonymous designer of the original Darwin fish.

They were not disappointed. The new emblem is five to six times larger than its predecessor, and the dinosaur devours an actual-size Truth fish, leaving a broken fin at its feet. It is so large that it won’t fit on most compact cars. In fact, the instructions included with the new piece—which retails for $24.95—suggest purchasing an SUV or pickup truck in order to display it.

Williams admits this might deter some people from purchasing their newest product. But, she says, ROF was willing to accept that drawback on a statement that will be difficult if not impossible to thwart. “The creationists might be able to come up with something to eat our T-Rex—God knows they’re clever enough to come up with bogus theories about the primordial fossil record—but let’s see them fit it on their cars!”

The release of the T-Rex emblem has some in the Christian community worried. But the latest attack on the Ichthus fish doesn’t worry Bob Woodward, the creator of the Truth fish. In a recent press release, he argued that truth is more than a catchy slogan or trendy bumper sticker, and pointed out a fatal flaw in the Darwinists’ decision to include a dinosaur in their latest offering: extinction. “The last Tyrannosaurus Rex fell down dead over 60 million years ago. The Truth of literal biblical creationism, on the other hand, is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”

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