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VOLUME 1 • ISSUE 8   |   Release date: January 15, 2004

In This Issue
No Grace on Moon, Mars
Black Family Flees Emergent Church
THO Guide to Christian Capitalization
Benefits of Abstinence After Marriage
Bible Study Divided for Sex Talk
Survey Results
January Church Sign of the Month

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What's the most unreasonable Christian New Year's resolution you've ever made?
Survey results and user comments

Below are some of the votes and comments submitted by readers who took last month's survey.

Spencer Jones - Beulah, ND

Resolution: Go to church EVERY Sunday
Reason: This isn't about legalism. It's about priorities and being intentional about doing things that are important! People take too lightly some standards that, while they seem superficial, can help in developing good behaviors and be an example for others. It's about priorities! Oh my... it appears that I've surfed myself to 11:17 AM (Jan 4th). I guess I'll start next week or the week after.

Debbie - Birmingham, AL
Resolution: Tell one person about Jesus every day
Reason: That's a great goal and everything, but come on...what about spending time developing relationships, and gaining trust before you hit them with "you're going to Hell if you don't believe!"?
THO's Response: Debbie, we agree; that's unreasonable. Judging by the way it appears you talk to others about Jesus we imagine this one person might get annoyed after only one day—let alone after hearing you say the same insensitive thing every day!

Antoine - Boise, ID
Resolution: No more lusting
Reason: This one lasted about two days. I probably would have held out longer, but we just got Cinemax.

KT - Visalia, CA
Resolution: No more Simpsons
Reason: That was just crazy, it only lasted till 5:00pm that night.

M Shea - Oswego, NY
Resolution: I'm going to read the whole Bible – today!
Reason: Trust me, I would have been 'the man' had I pulled that off.

Dax - Mississauga, Ontario
Resolution: No Sex
Reason: Back in 1999, I decided it was a good year not to have sex. Little did I realize that woman in general would be so accommodating to my vow. I still think it was unreasonable, though.

Charlotte - Cookeville, TN
Resolution: To read only from the KJV
Reason: n/a

Nikky - Rochester, NY
Resolution: Resolution?
Reason: Are kidding me? Aren't there enough commandments that I have to inflict self-imposed ones also? I'll leave the law-making up to God, and maybe Moses... As long as it isn't the democrats..that would be hell.
THO's Response: Nice use of the lowercase "hell." [ref.]

J-Dawg - St. Louis, MO
Resolution: Start Attending Bible Study
Reason: Spiritual growth, of course, but have you ever actually been to a Bible study? Ugh! I figure playing LOTR on Xbox has to have some spiritual value, right?

Jay - Dallas, TX
Resolution: To Stop Having Sex
Reason: I mean, c'mon! Why stop having sex with my girl when... [THO Censored]

Jeanette Fischer - Palo Alto, CA
Resolution: Cut out gluttony
Reason: I really wanted to cut down on the Cheetos, but that evil little cat on the bag just kept calling out to me...Chester is the devil!!

Larry - Tampa, FL
Resolution: Regular Fasting
Reason: This always sounded like such a good idea but I think when the concept was introduced they didn't really have good food. Yeah, it's probably easy to fast when all there is to eat is koosa mihshee -- even on the 40th day you're like, 'eeh, another day without falafel is fine by me!' But at my place we're so italian we've got that plastic furniture you're not allowed to sit on -- good food is in our blood. During his fasting I bet Jesus never had to walk by my kitchen while grandma is cooking her famous lasagna alla bolognese...

Will - London, Ontario
Resolution: Not going to see Barenaked Ladies anymore...not real ladies, I mean the band.
Reason: I was going to stop going to their concerts because I don't approve of their name. It's just too hard. The music is so good, eh?

Ella Davis - New Orleans, LA
Resolution: Not listening to any secular music
Reason: I just really, really wasn't thinking about the implications of that one.

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