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VOLUME 2 • ISSUE 1   |   Release date: May 15, 2004

In This Issue
Kerry to Start New Catholic Church
Hip-Hop Lyrics Too Theologically Complex
Worn Out by Revival
Dobson Backs Stern in FCC Fight
Spidey Pews, Pulpits
Christ-Anderson Homeboy Relationship
Survey Results
May Church Sign of the Month
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Focus on the Fartman: Dobson Backs Stern in FCC Fight

In his ongoing battle against the Federal Communications Commission, shock jock pioneer Howard Stern has received a stunning vote of confidence from an unlikely source - Focus on the Family's James Dobson. The popular Christian therapist's recent comments on Fox News Channel's "Hannity & Colmes" show has sent shockwaves throughout the Evangelical landscape.

After a brief plug for his forthcoming book Hugging Homosexuals Into Heaven, Dobson was asked by co-host Alan Colmes to offer his opinion on the controversial disc jockey's tumultuous fight with the FCC and Clear Channel. "Well, Alan, I, uh, well, the thing about Howard Stern is, while I obviously don't endorse the context of his content, I have to say, I've heard far worse on Christian radio. And well, I think we ought to pray for Howard Stern, that God would give him the strength to fight for the rights that our founding fathers died for."

Taken back by Dobson's remarks, Colmes' co-host - devout Catholic Sean Hannity, asked the shrink to elaborate. "Well, Sean, you know, uh, just the other day I heard a local pastor on the radio here in Colorado Springs. He spent an hour on Genesis 38:9, which says, 'But Onan was not willing to have a child who would not be his own heir. So whenever he had intercourse with Tamar, he spilled the semen on the ground to keep her from having a baby who would belong to his brother.' I know God's Word is inspired and all, like 2 Timothy 3:15 says, but even AWANA doesn't let its kids memorize that one. I know Clinton's not in office anymore, but if we're not careful, we'll get our religious broadcasters licenses removed."

With Colmes snickering in the background, Hannity pressed Dobson. "Dr. Dobson, I respect your work and your various stands on issues of morality in this country. But can you understand what an outrage this will be to the religious right?"

"Well, I don't see why. We've been blessed over the years with wonderful expositions of Ezekiel 23:20, which states 'There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.' If you can preach that over KJOY, well Mr. Stern should be entitled to his free speech as well."

While Hannity sat befuddled, Colmes offered a hearty "Amen". The spry psychiatrist was quick to retort, "Well Alan, I 'amen' free speech as well, but the real issue is praying for Howard Stern's salvation. Wouldn't it be the biggest shock of them all for Howard to announce that he's a Jew for Jesus? But in the meantime, I'll go on record as defending any American's right to freedom of speech, from Bible study to Butt Bongo."

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